My Twin Pregnancy Diary – 29 Weeks

I weighed myself for the first time in this pregnancy last Saturday.

There were two reasons why I hadn’t weighed myself before this time despite my mutterings about Robert the Husband buying me a cross trainer earlier in the week and they were….

I wasn’t that interested
I wasn’t that interested

We found out at six weeks and six days that we were expecting two babies so from that point onwards I knew that I would probably get pretty big. As you know my sister had twins and I had seen her grow so I was prepared for all of that. And it didn’t bother me.

This was not always the case.

In my first pregnancy weight gain bothered me a great deal. More than it should have done really. I was super aware of it and felt very uncomfortable within my own skin as clothes began to get a little snug. However, when we lost that first baby at thirteen weeks trust me when I say that weight gain was the furthest thing from my mind. I’d have given up a great deal at that point to be snug in my clothes and yet still be pregnant.

When we lost the second baby I remember saying to Robert that I simply could not imagine ever seeing my tummy grow, seeing a healthy baby on a scan or give birth. This was odd as I wanted a baby very much indeed and usually I can absolutely visualize everything that I want to aim for in life.

But this was different, I was drenched in so much grief that it didn’t ever seem possible. Of course it got better very quickly and here we are today. All three of us standing in front of my bedroom mirror talking to you guys!

Say hello please Meatballs.

Good babies.

On Saturday I saw that, so far, I have gained three and a half stone or about 50 pounds in the first seven months of this twin pregnancy. I’m telling you this because if I didn’t then my claims of not being interested in that number would not ring true. So there it is.

But this post isn’t about that. It’s not about the weight gain it’s about the other stuff that I have found much, much more surreal and strange.

Things like -

Looking in the mirror and not recognizing a body that I have stared at and got to know for the last thirty four years.
Never knowing what is going on inside my tummy and yet seeing a great deal of movement under the skin all day every day (at this point in the pregnancy)
Decorating a nursery for two people that are our children despite never having met them
Saying the words “Our Children” out loud
Eating, feeling the familiar burning sensation in my chest, vomiting a little bit in my mouth and then swallowing a huge gob full of Gaviscon
Getting very hot at about five in the evening, every evening, and feeling like I am going to throw up
Dealing with my morbid fear of throwing up at about five in the evening, every evening
Passing out in the street and falling in to the gutter right beside the wheel of our car. Don’t ask, mortified!
Struggling to shower properly without a great deal of effort as the bump gets bigger and more restrictive.
Having to make a plan whenever I want to turn over in bed
Watching my pedicure disappear as it becomes impossible to reach my feet….ROBERT!!!!!!

And I could go on.

I WISH you could hear my tone of voice right now because it’s not moany or complaining, it’s very matter of fact and this morning my attitude is bright and breezy. The sun is out, there are great songs on the radio and I have a can of ice cold Vimto by my side. *totally addicted to any type of caffeine free diet soda right now*

When I realise that I have got to a point in a pregnancy that I never thought possible I try and take time to enjoy what I can of it and that is why I’m really happy I have kept a weekly diary. I can look back and see growth, various stages that we have gone through, odd stuff and good stuff. And The Meatballs will get to see it and read it too.

We have been toying with names and making lists. Our double push-chair has been delivered and the piles of muslin and blankets grow taller every week.

No, there won’t be much sleep for quite a while.

Yes, we’ll have to plan things a bit more when we have children and can’t just take off when the mood takes us.

I may have to heal from a cesarean section.

Robert will have to deal with going back to work after his paternity leave and miss them like crazy for a while to come.

But when I look at that belly, see the weight I have gained on the scale, look at the date on the calender and realise that we are so close to being a family of four we can almost smell it I realise that we made it.

And I didn’t even HAVE to be able to imagine it. We have been looked after and blessed. Thank you.

You gotta love that!

Cx
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Cherry Menlove