My Twin Pregnancy Diary – 32 Weeks

This Saturday I’m having a baby shower. It’s not a female only affair I’m afraid as I really like the company of men so why leave them out? This Saturday will be much more of a gathering. A gathering of family and friends and part of ‘The Season’ which runs in our family from Easter through to the end of the Summer and entails many gatherings and lots of food and drink.

There is quite a bit to do for the shower and we’ve been having fun here at the house getting ready for it.

What I have noticed over the last week or so is that my bump is now starting to really get in the way.

Here I am ironing a piece of fabric for a project I’m working on that will go on the wall of the nursery. You’ll notice the bump is keeping me from really being able to get involved in the task of ironing. Bummer!

Finally I’ve found a reason for me to keep a bump shaped appendage stuck to my tummy even after the twins are born as I find ironing really quite wrong even though I like the results it gives.

I don’t iron a great deal I have to say. What’s the point of it? Apart from helping you to NOT look a bit skanky but that really is the only reason I can think of and it’s not good enough to keep me on my feet for any length of time.

This is my bump not allowing me to be hunched, working, over my keyboard for as long as I’d like to be. What you can’t see in this picture is just how far forward in the chair I am. The back of the chair is actually in the other room and my enormous bottom is now perched right on the edge of it. I get a bit huffy puffy when I have to be at my desk for a long time as it can get uncomfortable and I simply can’t show you what my desk actually looks like right now as it is a graveyard of empty Gaviscon bottles and a little scary in a Pet Cemetery kinda way.

When driving my bump can also be a bit of a hindrance. I was not blessed with amazonian long legs so if my bump gets much bigger I shall no longer be able to reach the pedals. This I don’t like as I like driving about and need the freedom to do so. Hmph!

I was watching the Heidi Klum – True Hollywood Story the other evening and was very pleased to discover that ‘Our Heidi’ lost forty pounds of baby weight in two months in order to take part in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show, in which she wore a bikini. There I was telling Robert that Heidi (as if we were drinking buddies) gave birth and within eight weeks was back in a bikini and she only gained ten pounds more than me with a singleton pregnancy.

What I failed to realise at the time was that I still have a few weeks to go and that my friend and mogul Heidi is approximately eight feet taller than I, so the weight was much more evenly distributed, and that I’m sure she has a personal trainer.

When this realization actually sank in I made a call to the folks at Victoria’s Secret and told them that I couldn’t do this year’s show but I’d certainly be ‘bikini ready’ for the next. To be honest I wish they’d stop calling me because whenever I do one of these ‘underwear appearances’ the other supermodels get so insecure and jealous I’m sure they talk behind my back and I’m sick of their moaning!!!!!!

Now this could probably be considered a crime against humanity – when your bump won’t even let you make a cup of tea. The war was won on cups of tea, Meatballs, and it’s not a good idea to stop Mummy from having a cup.

I wonder if I’ll miss my bump when it’s gone? Whether I’ll stroke my tummy and think fondly of the time when they were both safe and sound in there?

At this time I would answer thus -

“NOT BLOODY LIKELY”

But I know myself and I know that when my new born baby son has just peed straight into my face as I change his nappy or my daughter has just thrown up on my dress as I’m heading out the door to a lovely Summertime bar-b-q I’d quite happily push them all the way back up and out of mischiefs way!