Raising Twins, The First 2 Weeks

Our twins are two weeks old today. The last fortnight has been unbelievable really. From the surreal drive to the hospital belly still bulging, past fields of red poppies and chat with Robert in the car about how this was our last drive as a ‘two’, to seeing Ned being held aloft above me as he was lifted out and then feeling so light I thought I could float up to the theatre ceiling. I could breathe again.

I’ve also been lucky enough to have the wonderful, truly wonderful, experience of watching Robert become a father and take to it like a duck to water. That has been the most rewarding part of this whole experience (apart from the children themselves, obviously!)

On the second night after they were born my pain relief had well and truly began to wear off and I was a little, er….restricted in my movements, so Robert stepped in for the night. We were lucky enough to be in an NHS hospital that offered private rooms for a fee and considered it a very good investment. Robert moved deftly about the room, learning to swaddle with help from the midwives. He also helped me with my pillows as I continued to slip down the bed mere moments after having been hoisted into a semi-upright position and was there constantly to comfort the babies as they found their voices for the first time since all the mucus had been puked up into the cots.

I watched, feeling a little helpless, as Robert changed nappy after nappy and slept on a Lazy Boy chair for the second night in a row. I joked with the midwife as we discovered that Ned had a wet patch traveling out of his nappy and up his back. Robert looked a little sheepish as he was the only one who had been capable of changing any nappies at this point but it was all done in good humour. The long dark night turned in to morning and by the afternoon we were on our way home.

I could have stayed in hospital longer than two nights after a C-Section in hindsight but resting, staying in bed and HEALING were not as attractive to me at that time as walking in my front door with our babies and settling in. So we came home, tried to watch the football, and we all promptly fell asleep.

It was at this point that the days and the nights began to blend in to one and ceased to have any beginning or end. We well and truly feel like brand new parents at this two week mark.

This is Robert after our first night’s sleep (ahem!!) at home with the babies. The bed, unmade and messy after many trips in and out of it through the night. Up and down simply to have “a little look”. I even put my index finger under their noses at some godforsaken hour just so I could check that they were still breathing. I haven’t woken especially to do that since that first night so I’m putting it down to nerves. We’re definitely relaxing in to them both and learning to read them and their noises.

A lot of the time we just stare at them. Ned looked so content.

Personally I find myself in total awe of the whole experience and I’m not wanting that to sound as if we’re not having a tough time here. We are, most definitely. It is the most intense thing Robert and I have ever done but when I saw Anaïs and the look on her face as she slept outside I was taken aback by the sheer purity and strength of the emotion I felt. They’re ours, they’re here, they rely on us and the privilege is all ours.

The day they met their cousins for the first time was a delight to watch as small hands were taught how to hold even smaller hands.

Truly, unprompted, asked for a cuddle and Anaïs was placed on her lap.

“How am I doing?”

Brilliantly, Tru, just brilliantly.

The first kiss.

This picture makes me cry (surprise surprise, this happens a lot at the moment) as it makes me realize that they are surrounded by people who love them as much as Robert and I do.

And I especially love the juxtaposition of my pure babies next to their Uncle Nathan’s tattoos. Nathan, you’re the most fantastic uncle and they are so lucky to have you.

One of the biggest shocks for me personally has been dealing with how I felt after my C-Section. This picture was taken 7 days after the procedure and belies the fact that I had never been in so much pain before. It made it very hard in the first ten days or so to do any real caring for the babies apart from feeding & cuddling. This in itself is more than enough, I know that, and Robert has been great at doing my share of the work as well. Now, two weeks on, I’m feeling fantastic compared to how I have been feeling but I really did have this notion in my head that I would be up and down and running after the babies within a day or two of the operation. Perhaps I don’t heal as quickly as others or perhaps I really didn’t want to know how major a surgery it actually was in case it made me even more nervous about the whole thing than I already was, but I was shocked by it. For what seemed like morning after morning I needed help out of the bed as I sincerely felt as if the entire lower half of my body was going to fall out, entrails and all, on to my bedroom carpet. Occasionally it was best just to sit back on the bed and have a little cry.

The odd pity party never hurt anybody.

But the fact is that I woke up one day recently and felt better. I didn’t feel the same as the previous day or worse than last week but better. My mood lifted, I saw all of the fun we would be having with these two laying up ahead like some sort of magical gift and the sunny days became sunny again and not just painfully dark.

Of course the whole two weeks has been peppered with moments like this and I’m so grateful that we have iPhones, point and shoot cameras and all the other gadgets to record with at any moment of the day or night. It’s due to having these memories recorded that any recollection of pain is soon forgotten or at least consigned to the far reaches of my mind. Feeling her little hand wrapped around mine however stays like an imprint, never to leave, and forever welcome to stay.

Lots of love,

Cherry xoxo
***********************************

Don’t forget you can join my Facebook page!

Cherry Menlove