I literally don’t know where to begin with this post. It’s all been so eventful and full of twists and turns, dreams that were shattered and other ones that came to life in the disappointment.
OK, deep breath…….
In May of 2009 Robert and I rented an amazing house. It was very old and traditional and had amazing outdoor spaces. If you’ve only just found me and my website let me show you around a bit…
It had an amazing country style kitchen with an AGA. We designed and tiled a splash-back in a Union Jack design and I slept there when I was preggers with the twins, trying to get them to cook and stay put after two miscarriages.
It was HUGE, a picture perfect house.
As part of the rental we took half of a paddock that was to the side of the house.
I designed a flower and vegetable garden and we built it up from scratch.
It was a special, special place. The rental agreement was for two years and then we knew that it would go on to the market. We were offered the chance to buy it and so from that moment on we made it our mission to raise the money to do so.
It is far too big for Robert, the kids and I to live in by ourselves but I had a vision for the place and that is why we went hell for leather trying to raise the money.
I wanted a school. I wanted to open it up to people, hold classes, events, have guest speakers, craft classes, a baking school. It was so exciting, so good, it felt so brilliant. I went to everybody I knew and told them about this plan. I had no shame and asked EVERYBODY. Parents, friends, the lot. We loved the house so much and we wanted to share it.
This was a good plan, it had to work.
But it didn’t.
I didn’t raise the money and soon the time came for us to move out.
I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know why my fantastic dream hadn’t been realised. Robert and I sat down one evening and we thrashed out our options. We hadn’t left enough time to go ahead and buy another house so we looked for another house to rent while we continued to save for a deposit and this was the right thing to do with the market being the way it was a year ago.
It was hard, we came SO close to getting the money we needed. We ALMOST did it, but not quite. So the house we took the babies home from the hospital to was packed up and we left it. There is a beautiful family there now and they will of course be so happy there. It’s a magical place.
I’m the type that when faced with something will just get on and deal with it. It’s the not knowing I hate. So once we knew we had lost the house we had to just get on with it. The babies were not even one year old and children scour their parents faces for all signs of emotion and it was really important to us to keep it together in these really early days. We made it a happy time, an adventure and we had found a BEAUTIFUL house to rent while we gathered ourselves up. This house was very different indeed to the one we had just come from. It was French in its style and had very tall ceilings and large windows. We met our landlord and immediately felt at home. He had raised his family of five there, climbing the apple trees in the summer and building camps in the back garden. I remember waking up on our first morning there, the sun was out, the birds were out, the garden was already alive and I was so grateful. It felt right. It felt safe. There was love in the walls of this house and it was all going to be ok.
The only thing I had to think about were the kids and the fact that at the start of August we were going to be shooting my book.
And as we began to get settled in to this house we all began to love it and could imagine ourselves staying there.
Of course there was still the niggling feeling that I had failed somehow in failing to get the other house. It still didn’t make sense.
And then in June, just before the kids turned one , Robert came home from work with a bottle of Champagne and said “I’ve got leukemia but we’re going to get through it. Let’s celebrate”
Then it made sense.
If we had purchased the other house and were deep in to working on opening a school when this news came in then I’ve got no idea how we would have coped. Robert was gone for 6 weeks, I didn’t see him very much as I was here with the kids and he was up in London. My family and friends all rallied around and we got the house and the garden ready for the book shoot. It didn’t need that much doing to it as it was all so lovely but I planted some flowers and put our furniture in.
It began to feel perfect. This house cradled us as we waited for news on Robert. The folk who were here on the first book shoot were WONDERFUL. We all worked so hard and it was such an amazing distraction.
And then Robert came home. He began to gain weight, get stronger, and we began to think about moving on. In the Autumn he got the news he was in remission.
And before we knew it it was time to decorate for Christmas.
Then we got the news that the house we were in was going to have to be sold. This wasn’t a surprise. It certainly wasn’t being sold from under us, our landlord is AWESOME and we love him. This news forced Robert and I into a decision that we didn’t know we were strong enough to make – we were going to have to buy, renting wasn’t right for us anymore. And for forcing us to make that choice we are eternally grateful.
We certainly wanted to buy this place and thought very hard about it but it wasn’t to be.
So we began to look for a house.
And we found one.
Our offer was accepted and we are in the ‘Process’.
The ‘Process”, bleugh, it’s awful. ANYTHING could cause the whole thing to collapse at any time and getting a mortgage these days is HARD!!!!!! But we’re quite far down the road and we hope to be in by late April.
So that’s it. We’ve bought a place. We love it and I think it’ll feel so different because it’s ours but the last few years have been an incredible lesson in letting go and building a home wherever one may be and we wouldn’t trade that for anything. We’ve met some amazing people along the way and we hope they will always be in our lives. We’ve let dreams slide and then breathed a sigh of relief as we’ve discovered the reasons why they went unfulfilled.
We’ve been looked after and we will continue to be, no matter what.
So that’s it. That’s the news. Well, some of the news. There’s more. Quite a bit more.
I can tell you one other bit if you’d like?
The new house is a project, a doer-upper. A beautiful doer-upper.
Yep, we’re moving in to a project. Don’t ask me why but we’ve opted for the drama filled road once again and appear to be junkies for it.
This house is so different in style from the others.
Robert and I have lived in Victorian, English Country and French style houses. Now we’re heading to one built in the 1920′s/30′s and a whole new style of decorating. And it is this I am most excited by. It’s my dream style and without giving too much away I’m determined to do something new, something exciting, something brave. It’ll take years I’m sure but I don’t care. We’re in no rush. We need a home that is ours for the babies. I want them to feel like they have a place that will always be there for them when they go off out in to the world. Robert and I love West Sussex and so it’s a great place to settle and see them grow.
I’m crying a bit when I type today. I don’t know why. It’s been a journey I suppose and although part of it has only just begun there is a chapter that is coming to a certain end. And I am glad.
I watched The Notebook again last night and I saw the love that Noah put in to doing up the Plantation house he bought. Doing up a project of a house will be dramatic in its own way but it will be ours the way the house in the movie was Noah’s. He was doing it for Ali, Robert and I will do it for our kids.
When we move in I’ll show you pictures. If the sale collapses it certainly won’t be because of us but I’ll let you know. And until then move forward in faith. It’ll be alright, it’s always alright, eventually.
I love you and thank you for reading.
Cherry x
************************************************************
Join my Facebook page!
Feel free to add me to your links list. Here it is ! - http://www.cherrymenlove.com/
Facebook – Please feel free to join my page
Twitter – please feel free to follow me
Related posts:
Fingers crossed for you all that there are no more hiccups. You will make wherever you live beautiful Cherry. I’m looking forward to seeing your renovations.
xxx
What’s that saying, something like “You don’t always get what you want, but have faith that you will receive what you need.” I’ve had similar disappointment, then amazing good luck which ended up putting me exactly where I needed to be. Like you, I can cope with anything except the unknown.
I would say good luck, but if that house is yours it will happen, and if it’s not, yours will be out there waiting for you.
But a doo-er upper? With two two year olds? Seriously?!
Paula
xx
Oh yes, finding your home can indeed be a rocky journey but with your determination you’ll get there and I’ve no doubt it’ll be a beautiful home full of love. And, who knows, maybe one day even a school – your children would really love that. x
Like many others the post brought tears to my eyes. We are living in a rented house,home which we are working on making ours day by day. Though as soon as we saw it we knew it was home. There is always that fear that we may have move on sooner than we want to. The reality is we never want to leave it and would buy it if we 1. had the money and 2 we were able. All highly unlikely at the present time.
However, I am so happy for you that you have found what will, fingers and everything else crossed, your ‘new’ home.
I look forward to reading how it all goes on, and all the new projects, which will I am sure all be amazing.
‘Life really is the adventure’.
many regards and sparkles
Shullie xxx
Dear Cherry
I read your blog all the time as a way to escape the situation I find myself in. I am 26 years old and live at home with my parents.
For as long as I can remember, all I have wanted is a lovely home, to bake every day and be a mummy. I found out on Friday that my parents are facing bankruptcy. I went straight to the bank and have borrowed £20K to try and help them. This is NO easy decision considering I earn very little as a nanny and teaching assistant. They work so hard and I can’t help but feel so sad for them. They rent their house and we are currently in our 10th family home in the past 26 years. I can’t help but feel a little sad that my dream of owning my own house and staying in one place is slipping further and further away.
Thank you for your blog and I hope you don’t mind people like me living vicariously through you.
I’m really pleased for you all Cherry! After the year you’ve had – this is your reward and very deserved it is too!!
And how exciting for your readers!! All those lovely “decorating” blog posts to look forward to!!
Good luck with it all – I’ll keep everything crossed till you’re safely in and got the kettle on!! (or the Prosecco opened!!)
Lisa xx
What great news ! I keep fingers and toes crossed that all goes to plan.
Moving again eh ? Our relatives and friends think of us as eternal house movers, granted we usually not only move house but also country.
Our next step is Ireland again and hopefully we’ll also find our forever home.
Looking forward to see how it pans out for you and your family and I wish you lots of happines and succes in whatever you do.
xxx…x
Cherry I know the feeling, since my first son was born and I developed serious PND we have moved 4 times in nearly 3 years, from all ends of the country to the other. My husband works in stevenage over 170 miles away from home and since our youngest was born (4 weeks) ago we have made the life changing decision to move our little family closer to his office. We move in 2 weeks time and all though we are incredibly sad to be leaving all our friends and family behind, it is also the best decision we have ever made (well apart from getting married and having our boys..lol) we tried living down south 2 years ago and it failed after just a couple of months, But I believe that this move is finally happening at the right time for us a family. I am a big believer is fate and it sounds as it is for us the perfect time for things to happen and move on for you. A chance to wipe your slate clean and put all the heartache behind you and start completley fresh.
I wish you all the look and send you happy blessings. I cant wait to read about the process and see pictures of your new home.
Rebecca x
Oh wow, fantastic news – even if my initial reaction was ‘oh no, those lovely new carpets, all those lovely new carpets’………..
But, it will be perfect and it will be yours. I am a big believer in the fact that things happen for a reason and this is most definately your time to start afresh and with a whole new exciting journey ahead of you. Can’t wait to see the photos and hear all the news.
My fingers and toes are firmly crossed for you.
Good luck with your new adventure! You are such an inspiration for me. It is so hard to let go, but it is sometimes the right thing, thank you for reminding me. The next step might be the right one, and we don’t know it yet. That’s part of the fun, right?
aw, Cherry that is lovely, lovely news. Buying is the best thing, but yes, often easier said than done. The road to buying a home can be a very rocky one.
I shall be sending good wishes and positive vibes that the wretched Process goes smoothly from now on, and you will be in for April.
And a doer-upper to boot! You are a woman who likes to take on the world! I admire you for it.
lots of love,and congratulations to you!
x
I’ve tears in my eyes too, you are truly so brave Cherry and an inspiration – I’m struggling with some issues at the moment … your post has lifted me out of my sadness and with some determination I know I must “keep calm and carry on”.
And so I am looking forward to sharing your new adventure – your ideas, projects,and fabulous style will grace this new home …. your own home. So excited for you, lots of luck xxx
Oh Cherry, how exciting!! Just the best news, I bet you are bursting with excitement! My boyfriend and I are still in the renting stage and I can only dream at the moment of owning a place that is truly ours to love. It will happen one day but until then I will live vicariously through you!! Wishing you and your little family every happiness, I will keep my fingers crossed for everything to complete seamlessly
Cx
I’m so glad for you! All the love and creativity you pour into your new house will be YOURS; your family’s, and that’s wonderful. It will take years, and that’s wonderful too, because every detail you add will stay, until you decide to do it all over again. And it will be the home that your children create with you. Can’t wait to follow your adventure! New beginnings and all that. Sending you a virtual hug! Cx
So excited for you! Yay x
Good luck Cherry! you deserve it and we’re all excited about the news! I can’t wait to see the new house full of your essence…
XXX
As a friend says, it’ll be alright in the end…and if it’s not alright…it’s not the end.
I really hope this is the start of your happy ever after, Cherry.
x x x
How exciting, our house was built in 1929 so really excited to see how your renovation goes. Just know it is going to be awesome.
OMG as the kiddies say, you are mad !! Hopefully all goes well, if all is fair in this world the 2012 road should have way less potholes that last years journey, so fingers crossed that bodes well for your new home. Im sure it will be Cherrified in no time
)
How incredibly exciting!!! And fingers-crossed congratulations!
Good luck Cherry, hope it all goes smoothly for you!
Huge congratulations to you all! That is brilliant news
If YOU love it then I know we will love it too – you have the most amazing taste! I live in a 1920s house/project as well so am extra-excited about what you do. Can’t wait to share this next adventure (I have everything crossed for you all)! x
Congratulations to all four of you – it is a wonderful feeling to find your family home x x x
What an amazing post. Must admit it brought tears to my eyes too.
Fingers crossed it all goes through for you. I kept thinking you were going to tell us you were going back to the old house!!
The new house will be an amazing adventure and can’t wait to see all the work and projects you undertake.
Anna x
Good for you! I’m so pleased for you & your family. I know that you will make your new home into a special place in which to raise your children.