How’s it going?
It seems like AGES since I last posted, it has been ages, and I miss you guys A LOT.
My kids got the awful sickness bug that has apparently been going around. We’ve had long nights of bed changing, pyjama changing, hand holding as they slept and waking up at the first sound of retching as their hot bodies sat up in bed beside us.Well, I say ‘us’ Robert was edged out in to the next room to make room for the twins but he appeared bleary eyed in the doorway whenever the throwing up started again.
It scares you when their cheeks are that red and hot. And a person, albeit a very small person, who usually has a great deal to say for herself just lays there all day asleep or staring out of the window.
My son kept hold of Thomas at all times. A tank engine is a good friend when you’re not feeling too great.
There were times in the week when they perked up a bit. At those times I dropped what I was doing and we went outside. The kids only lasted about ten minutes before getting tired and falling asleep again but it was worth it.
I never thought I’d have children. It wasn’t on my radar. And then I met Robert. I loved him so much I wanted more of him and seeing as it’s impossible for him to multiply like a Mogwai in water we had to have babies.
Little did I know, when I was in my ‘I don’t think I’d make a great mum’ stage, how much joy I would get from just looking out and seeing something that made my son so freaking excited (in this case a tractor heading towards us). He squealed when he saw it coming over the horizon and the squeals got louder and louder as it approached.
Kids are reductive in the BEST sense of the word. They dispense with all things extraneous and reduce life to what it should be from time to time, simply joyful.
And they allow me to take that journey with them.
We need each other.
My kids need Robert and I to show them the way, keep them safe and make decisions for them at this time in their young lives.
And we need them to remind us that it doesn’t have to be that complicated, that we don’t need all this STUFF to make us happy and we observe from them how to live in the now.
I’ll never forget the last week as they have never been THAT ill.
I’ll remember how their hands felt as they held on to mine in the middle of the night, hot, small and soft. And how their breathing was so deep and gentle.
I’ve got some updates about the book, this website and just stuff in general. So I’ll post all of that anon. But I wanted to check in today to say “hi” and “thank you”.
Have a wonderful start to the week. I love you and thank you for reading.
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