So, Robert and I knew we had to go to the tip (dump, place where you take you garbage/rubbish/things you no longer want) at the weekend. We were heading there and then on to the nearest big town to take a look at some tiles we are interested in for the bathroom. It was a wonderful Saturday, warm and sunny, and I have to say that it is the prettiest car ride I have taken in a long time, even if we did end up in what was effectively the last stop before the landfill site.

I took heart as we drove in and parked up as I spotted that most of the huge containers were for items that could all be re-cycled and since we were simply disposing of copious amounts of packaging and some wood I knew it would all be put to good use. It was then that I spotted it.

Whenever I read one of the housey magazines and admire the home of somebody within the pages my eyes are invariably drawn to the odd bits of furniture that they have used in the place. You know the ones, pieces that were one thing in a former life but serve equally as well as something else. Well, whenever I drive up and park in the local tip and see a PRISTINE Singer sewing machine stand simply standing there with no mummy or daddy appearing to be looking after it, my first and only thought is PHONE TABLE FOR THE ENTRANCE HALL!!!

I leapt out of the car and sidled up to it. Looking for all intents and purposes to anybody who was observing that this was in fact MY piece of furniture and I was simply bringing it out for the day to get a little sun and some air. By no means was this anybody else’s new phone table but mine. I laid my hands on it and was not going to let anybody get in the way of my vice like grip.

Robert, who by this time was dutifully unloading all of the rubbish from the back of the car and dragging it in to the containers suddenly realised that the person who was meant to be helping him in this was nowhere to be seen and began to scour the horizon for what I am sure he must of thought was a total slacker. He found me gripping the table and immediately knew that something was rotten in Denmark.

At this point a man who obviously worked at the tip spotted me acting mightily suspiciously and began to walk my way. I pre-empted his questions with regards to what it was I was doing with a question of my own ……

Cherry : Is it OK if I take this?

Man: Er…..no. It’s against the rules of the tip. Nobody is allowed to take anything that has been left by somebody else. I can’t allow it.

At this point the world seemed to go into slow motion for a while until I finally found the ability to speak once again.

Cherry : WHAAAAATTTTTT?!?!?!?!?! Well I shouldn’t have asked you then should I? I should have simply taken it?

Man : Yes, you should have really.

Cherry: Well you just need to walk away and ignore me then. You simply have to forget that I ever asked you.

Man: Where is your car parked?

Cherry: There (pointing to the car that was parked about three feet away from where I was now sweating over my new phone table)

Man: Well I suppose I had better help you lose this in the back of your car then hadn’t I?

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!

Oh how I thanked him. Not too loudly of course lest one of his superiors were to hear and get involved. Once we had it safely in the back of the car and the man had gone his merry way, pleased with his good deed I am sure, Robert returned.

Robert: Are we going to talk about this?

Cherry: ButyoudontunderstandIloveitsomuchanditwilllookwonderfulinthehallpleeeeaaasssseeee!!!

Robert: Cherry hon, people come to the tip to get rid of things not to pick stuff up!

Cherry: Butjustlookatitit’sbeautifuliloveitsomuchandit’sinmintcondition!!!!

Robert: *sigh*

Hello there readers! Let me show you my new phone table today. Isn’t she a beauty? And so reasonably priced!!!

This article first appeared in June 2007 on my blog.