Hello there.
Robert is still in hospital. Tomorrow he will have been in for three weeks. Unfortunately I have not seen him in person for a week as my heavily pregnant sister has just had a very bad cold and as Robert has no immune system to speak of it was best not to take any chances.
Robert’s white blood cell count has risen from 0.0 to 0.1
When it reaches 0.5 he can come home.
It’s been 0.1 for days and there’s talk of taking another bone marrow sample. Our fear is that the chemo has wiped his bone marrow out and a transplant will be needed. But that hasn’t happened yet so we’re certainly not going to act or think like it’s a foregone conclusion. Doing that would make us feel worse in an already hard situation.
SKYPE has been our lifeline. Robert sits on the iPad and joins us at the table for breakfast and dinner. He is also propped on the back of the sofa and he watches them play. At nighttime I put him in the cots and he watches from inside as I change the nappies and put the children in to their pj’s before bed. Then I stand at the door with the iPad held high in one hand and we both say “goodnight” before I close the door and go downstairs.
It’s a wonderful way of keeping sane but I want him home.
I’ve found that I have been doing what I do best and enjoy most – cooking, feeding my children, pottering and a bit of decorating in the evenings when I’m alone. An event such as your young husband being treated for Leukemia does make you think about other areas of your life and I believe that both Robert and I are on that journey. It makes you want to slow down and enjoy the ride a bit more because you never know when it will be your turn to get off.
The pictures that I’ll be posting while Robert is still in the hospital are for him. So he can see how it’s all going and what’s happening outside in the garden and inside the house. It’s a lovely way for him to feel involved and it means that I get to bash out my thoughts on to this keyboard, which is most cathartic, so it’s win win.
It’s broad bean season. I made a dish with broad beans in it the other evening and gave them to the children to eat. I’m pleased to say they ate every one put in front of them. I think I’d be a touch worried if they threw them on the floor in disgust because we live on them at this time of year.
I boil them until the outer skin crinkles and then peel them back, revealing the bright green bean inside. With it’s nutty taste and lovely texture it makes the best side dish when sauteed with garlic or chopped up with mint.
Sorry, Robert, I know you’re dealing with hospital food right now. I’ll make you whatever food you like when you’re home. I give you my word.
The garden is looking a lot more colourful too. Which means I get to have cut flowers in every room for free. All of those pots on the windowsills during the early days of Spring suddenly become very worthwhile indeed.
Dahlias, Sweet Peas, Verbena, Hydrangea, Roses, Stocks.
Colour, colour, colour.
So it’s broad beans, with basil and garlic, new potatoes and some chicken for tea. I’ll sit at the table with the babies in their highchairs and the iPad, with Robert on SKYPE, at one end.
It has to be as normal as it can be for the children and we have to stick to our little routine as much as possible at the moment. They’re not stupid. If I was walking around looking and acting like the world was coming to an end they’d pick that up.
Our garden is producing some wonderful food right now and I want to cook for my kids in the knowledge that it will nourish their tiny bodies.
And that is what I’ll do because it gets the focus and the thoughts off of me and Robert and on to them.
Boy, do I need the distraction.
When we’ve eaten our tea I’ll potter again until late in the evening, planning for when Robert comes home. I’ve moved bedrooms around, started painting walls and generally getting it ready for him to be welcomed in to to heal. I don’t care that his blood count hasn’t gone up for days, we’re not giving up, he will come home. I have a goal that I’m working towards and that is my husband’s homecoming.
And that’s enough for me.
Thank you so much for reading. I love you terribly.
Cherry x
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Cherry and Robert,
I read these words the other day and immediately thought of you.
‘You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.’
We are all thinking of you both and sending you all our love.
xxxx
Cherry,
Have a look at these and read why this company was started. http://www.glassybaby.com/home.asp
Cherry,
I’m calling in my intuitive healer friend. She is quite amazing and mind blowing.
Continuing to send {{{{healing vibes}}}} and hugs to you both.
Because I was inspired by you to plant (my first) dahlias I am today enjoying the first blooms in a jam jar (is there a better vase?) on my coffee table – in so many ways you have touched our lives Cherry, please know that….
love,
S x
Beautiful x
Cherry, I think about you often, still praying for you and your family, and hoping that things will soon be back to normal for all of you. lots of love and hugs xx
,,,cherry, your lovely way of keeping positive is what has and will continue to sustain you!,,,many blessing to your family!,,,
Your writing is so moving. That you can be so honest is incredible. To remind us that it’s the normal things that most people take for granted that mean so much when you stop and take time to really see what life is about. I think about you and Robert and the babes daily and send you lots of love. Get well soon Robert. Axxx
keep positive thoughts Cherry you are doing so well bless you
Thinking of you all SO much… I wish there were ‘different’ words to use which would ‘mean more’ – these words seem so inadequate. We are ALL thinking of you such a lot, and pooling our best ‘vibes’ for Robert to get well soon and come home.
I am thinking you very often. my all prayers are with you . I have been following your blog about 1.5 years and I feel myself like your family member.
I feel a deep sadness. But I have no doubt that Robert will be at home the shortest time.
So glad your trying to have a sense of normalcy around your home. Thoughts and prayers are with you and Robert and your sweet little ones. Here’s to Robert coming home very soon and you having a calm spirit until he does! Take comfort in the fact that everything is in God’s hands, and He being the creator and giver of all things good does not turn away from His children.
Dearest Cherry, sending you love & thoughts every day from Melbourne. Life has a funny way of making us appreciate the things we usually take for granted, such as being at home together with Robert every night & him getting to share the every day realities & joys of bringing up your two little ones. You of all people with your wonderfully open & loving attitude will get this, I’m sure.
Love Katherine xx
Dear Cherry, Dear Robert,
and light a candle. I hope you feel the same about candles, they feel so relaxing and soothing to me. Best wishes for you, Regina
our thoughts are with the four of you! Sending you a virtual postcard from Salzburg. The next days I will walk up to Stift Nonnberg (you know the one where Maria was a novice in the movie
Continuing to pray for you.
Cherry ,
Such a blessing you are to Robert, God certainly knew what He was doing when he brought your hearts together
you are doing all the right things.. keeping busy , but savoring the moment.
Robert will be home soon:-)
my prayer for you is this :
Dear Lord , Thank You for Your love & for giving Your SOn for us all.
Lord I ask today that You lay Your hands upon Robert & give him Your healing , complete & with out want. Please Dear Lord ,Bless him with Good Health & bring him back home to his family. Lord Jesus continue to hold Cherry in your arms & give her strength, Bless her & the children in ways Only YOU can. reveal Yourself to this young family & make them WHOLE
WE can do all things through Christ , who gives us strength. Amen
God Bless Cherry
lisa
Amen!Amen! and AMEN! To the post from lisa,
And I would like to add this prayer:-
Thank you Lord that it is Your blood that cleanses us who believe and trust in You, it is also Your blood that gives us life. Lord may Your blood flow into Robert and give Him an abundance of “LIFE” and complete healing. Lord bless all of the doctors/ consultants who are looking after Robert,help them to help Robert. Lord You be their hands and give them all they need to help him so that not only will he be well enough to go home to be with Cherry and the babies but I even dare to ask You Lord that Robert will be well enough to return to work in record time!!! In Jesus’ precious mighty and powerfull Name, Amen!
P.S
Do you remember this song Cherry, “Its Your Blood”?
“It’s Your blood that cleanses me, it’s Your blood that gives me life,
It’s Your blood that took my place in redeeming sacrifice.
Washes me whiter than the snow, than the snow.
My Jesus, God’s precious sacrifice”.
Hope you are ok
You are amazing Cherry. It must be so hard for you but I am also a strong believer in pottering as normal and it will give Robert strength to know you are coping.
You are blessed to have two children to help pull you through.
Hope you are ok,
Much love
Gem x x
It’s good to get your updates. I have not long been a reader of your blog, but just wanted to offer my support. It do think of you often and I’m inspired by your positive post and that you are using technology to keep your husband as close as you can at the moment. ((hugs))
Wrapping your precious family all, in many, many gentle hugs…………
~♥~
Glad to read there’s some progress. What a brilliant idea to use the iPad/Skype, that must make such a difference.
a beautiful post Cherry.
You are such a strong woman, and totally right. Of course things have to be as normal as possible for the children.
Good news about the blood count. It’s moving in the right direction and that’s the main thing.
I think about you often. I’m glad you are finding solace in your garden and home, and that it’s helping you to get through this.
xx
Cherry,
God Bless you,,you are a very strong person and keeping to a routine is best thing you can do,,I am praying for you, the children and espically Robert to get well and come home,,thanks for keeping us posted..your garden and children are your santuary,,
huggs Devon
I am thinking of you and I hope that Robert is soon well. Stay strong lovely lady.
So pleased to hear from you Cherry and happy that you’re staying strong.
As always, I’ll be thinking of you all. Here’s hoping that Robert’s cell count starts moving so he can be with you and those beautuful babies soon xxx